I’ve spent a good deal of time around folks who have what feels like deep respect for the Bible. It’s come in a lot of different contexts too, which for me in my spiritual journey is significant. I spent a lot of years in an evangelical megachurch community, but I also spent the first seven or so years of my life regularly involved with a little episcopal community that was in my hometown, up the road.

I don’t have a lot of strong feelings about my time at that episcopal church, but one thing always stood out — people I liked were dressed funny. I knew it had something to do with the Bible though. And all things considered, that is pretty effective children’s ministry at the end of the day. Nevertheless.

People with whom I’ve had the honor of sharing time with in spiritual spaces know firsthand the truth behind this statement: the Bible fascinates me. When I’ve had opportunities to teach and preach, that experience has most often felt like inviting folks to wonder and be fascinated over some verses, or a story, or chapter with me, loose ends and questions and follow-up thoughts and all. Every sermon went long. I’m convinced that anyone saying otherwise is just being kind. Can I again invite you to wonder with me?

It’s coming up on two years since I came out as gay. I still call myself a Christian. And those two things residing alongside each other like good roommates do, that causes some people to pause. They have questions, they have verses. I get that, I really do. Because the Bible fascinates me too.

There were plenty of these conversations when I came out two years ago. Truthfully, there were too many for me. I couldn’t engage them all. If I had a do-over, that’s one thing I would personally change. But I had this recent conversation too. It caught me off guard when this one verse from Leviticus came up. Honestly, I was having a slow and relaxing afternoon after finishing up all I had to do that day. Slow, relaxing Sunday afternoon. The text came through, I read it and felt my heart sink. I know why, but the words feel tough to find — it’s because there’s something with brevity that stirs inside me when the Bible comes up. Fascinating book, that.

No matter the number of conversations like these I’ve had, my heart always sinks. I know how I’d really like to articulate my thoughts, especially after all the opportunities I’ve had to do so. But there’s still something about it, that stirring brevity. In my mind, this conversation was about the Bible and particularly about Leviticus. And I have thoughts.

Fortunately, Leviticus 19:18 is one of my favorite verses in the entire Bible. Before you go reading this beauty for yourself, allow me to stop you. Before reading the NRSV version provided below, I’d like to offer a moment to pause. This verse obviously requires some brief context as to why it’s one of my favorites. In all that I’ve reflected on in the Bible, the verse plays a pivotal role in what I’ve probably been reflecting on most lately. This verse is personal to me. This verse provides insight into to the way I orient myself in the world, as myself, as a gay man, as a Christian, and as someone fascinated with the Bible.

Leviticus 19:18 says, “You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against any of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.”

Surely this isn’t the verse you had in mind, right? There’s nothing to do with homosexuality, nothing about “abominations” or other potentially incendiary language. Unfortunately, insufferably, and annoyingly so, this is the verse I had in mind. You’ve been had in a biblical way.

Everything I’ve written is true, though. This verse is probably what I have been reflecting on most lately. This is especially true when I reflect on tough conversations about homosexuality, Leviticus, and love like the one most recent. I find myself wondering, what does it mean for me to love God with all of my heart, my soul, and my mind and to love my neighbor as myself? Leviticus 19:18 is the commandment in the law that Jesus is cited references according to what is written in Matthew 22:34:40. I spend a lot of time thinking about this idea, that the Greatest Commandment is actually two. But this verse is also personal to me. From where I sit, the most important question that comes to mind is not only “who is my neighbor?” but also “what is distinct about my heart, my soul, and my mind?” What does it mean for me, as a gay man, who is also a Christian, to have a brevity stirring conversation like this? Similarly, this verse in Leviticus (and the verses where it’s quoted) help me to orient my stumbling around in the world.

As someone fascinated with the Bible, I invite you to wonder with me. About the Bible, about Leviticus, about homosexuality, about love.

What if there was more in the Bible for us than the blanks filled in and the conclusions jumped to?

Fascinating book.

Sorry, just Ari.